May 2, 2008 // 5:50 pm
- Grand Theft Auto IV has been out for a whopping four days and we here at The Exploding Barrel are already officially addicted to Niko and Liberty City. Borrowing a page from the redneck comedian Jeff Foxworthy, we've compiled a list of 30 ways to tell if you are addicted to GTA IV.
Ready? "You might be a GTA IV addict if..."
- You adopted an awkward Eastern European accent because it makes you feel like a badass.
- You've pretended to carjack your own car that was sitting in your driveway.
- You made your girlfriend stand on the corner just so you could drive up and honk your horn.
- You drive around town aimlessly with nothing but the GTA IV soundtrack blaring from
- You blow through every single red light you encounter, but still take it easy around the fuzz.
- You've taken a sudden interest in local Russian vaudeville shows.
- You spend more time planning Niko's outfits than your own.
- You've seriously contemplated getting a tattoo of Niko on your forearm.
- You've started to wear gold jewelry and keep the first three buttons of your shirt open.
- You refuse to watch any television other than the in-game TV at your safehouse.
- You run when you see cops for no apparent reason.
- You've walked around the mall with toy squirt guns under your jacket in case "shit went down" at the Gap.
- You call up your friends, and say "DARTS!"
- You stopped dating because you felt like it would be cheating on Michelle.
- You now shop for clothing exclusively though online Russian Factory Clothing Outlets.
- You shout "Bumba Clot mon!" at every black dude that kinda looks like Little Jacob.
- You took a day off work to solely for the purpose of pigeon hunting.
- You can't sleep more than 6 hours at a time.
- You bought a second TV so you could play GTA IV on the 360 and the PS3 simultaneously.
- You've done a frame by frame comparison of both versions of the game and plan on writing your thesis for community college on the differences.
- You stopped using deodorant because you think it gives you more of the Eastern European feeling.
- You refuse to eat anything from restaurants not spoofed in GTA IV.
- The only studying you have done for finals is while the game is loading.
- You now refer to your shitty one-bedroom apartment as your "safehouse."
- You're more concerned with the fact that you have 3 GTA IV girlfriends than fact that you have 0 real-life girlfriends.
- You only get turned-on by breasts covered with electrical tape pasties.
- You've tried to charge for friends $5 bucks for guided tours of Liberty City.
- You count being drunk in GTA IV as one of the times you've been "totally wasted."
- You actually believe you can get around New York City because of your intricate knowledge of the streets in Liberty City.
- You've had more sex with Michelle in the last four days than your actual girlfriend.
If you nodded your head to more than 5 items on that list please seek immediate psychiatric assistance. Make sure to ask if you can bring your console to the loony bin though.
What are some of the ways that you have found out that you are becoming addicted to GTA IV?